HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
