i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
