You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
