a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize