This girl is more easily done than said...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
