accomplished twins. life is a go
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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