Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
