I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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