More tranny stories later!
kristin has been a bad kristin
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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