your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize