peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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