There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
