Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
