ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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