How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
