If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
