Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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