Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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