I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
