Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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