Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
