shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
