i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Send help, water and tortillas.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
