haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
