i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
