How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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