Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
