farters have to be the big spoon...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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