plz talk dirty to me
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
