My room smells like vodka and shame
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He kissed a someone with a penis
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
