Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
