The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize