Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
