I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
