So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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