Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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