we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
