whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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