This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
