I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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