I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
