Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
