yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
