My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
