But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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