You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
