can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
