So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
