I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
smell my finger.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize
