she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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