Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize