I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize