My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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