this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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