Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
