So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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