You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
