Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
