I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
